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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

State of Affairs

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling to come up with the words to explain my current situation, to write a blog that will explain everything that's floating inside my head. So bear with me, this may be a rambling and ranting entry instead of a cohesive piece of writing.

Here's the story: The_Endgame, after a lot of thought, has been shelved. A tough decision to make, but after my laptop crashed and took a lot of the project files down with it, it seemed better to just move on and go do something else.

There's more to it, though. As I tried to make music, I made a startling revelation: over the past few months, making music was no longer a way of affliction relief, it became an affliction. It was no longer pure and fun, it had become something ugly. I realized that I let my emotions make decisions with my music, and before I knew it, I was burned out again.

For the past few weeks, I've contemplated this over and over again, wondering if this "decision" is the right thing, if I'm reading this all wrong.

But for once, I have the clarity to say this: MC Larny is over, for the time being.

When I made this decision, I struggled to find the words that would act as the reasoning behind it. Then, while watching YouTube, I found a clip that would give me the words I needed

A clip of WWF Superstar Shawn Michaels vacating the WWF title because he "lost his smile". When I saw that, I knew that I was in the same situation with my music. I lost a lot over the past few months, my mind, my band, my desire, and my smile. I tried to persevere and all that, but I guess I couldn't do it.

This isn't retirement, it's just a vacation, till I get stuff together again. I may come back, I may not...but it feels right to leave it as it is right now.

Before I close this, I might as well thank the fans, the people I've played with, and anyone else who could be considered influential to this. It's been fun, but I guess, once a harmless addiction becomes a crippling affliction, it has to stop sometime.

Peace out...for real this time,
-MC Larny

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Music I Made



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RED = delayed



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